


Shout It From the Rooftops

by notcrypticbutcoy



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff, Love Confessions, M/M, Malec, Nothing Hurts, lawyer!magnus, veteran!Alec
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-09
Updated: 2018-11-09
Packaged: 2019-08-21 08:18:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16572962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notcrypticbutcoy/pseuds/notcrypticbutcoy
Summary: Alec really loves Magnus—so much that he’s having a hard time keeping it in.Or: In which Alec adores Magnus, Magnus adores Alec, and Alec ponders the best time to admit it.





	Shout It From the Rooftops

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the These Stories Belong To Us initiative - a film all about fanfic due to be released in 2019!
> 
> Title from Impossible by James Arthur

The first time it crossed Alec’s mind, his boyfriend sat bored in a conference a few thousand miles away in the heart of London—which was, perhaps, exactly why the thought flitted into his head and swirled around stubbornly as he flicked through social media, alone in his apartment, bored out of his mind.

 _I love him_ , he thought, as he liked a photo Magnus had posted of the view from the office he was visiting, situated on one of the higher floors in the Shard. Sunlight streamed across the city sprawled out below, catching on the muddied waters of the Thames, but all Alec really saw was the faint, beautiful reflection of his boyfriend in the glass.

 _I fucking love him_ , he thought, again, a smile twitching at his lips as he took in the deadpan caption ( _gorgeous - but can I go home now?_ ) and then paused.

Magnus Bane’s appearance in his life constituted the single best thing that had ever happened to him. He’d absolutely adored Magnus from the moment they met, when Magnus had attended a talk Alec was giving about mental health support for army veterans.

Adored. Loved?

 _I love him_ , he thought, deliberately this time, and blinked. _I love him_.

“Fuck,” he said, aloud to the stifling emptiness of his apartment.

Was two months too soon? Two months was probably too soon. Magnus had opened up to him about his previous troubles with relationships. The last thing he wanted was to cause Magnus any discomfort. He certainly didn’t mean to make things awkward between them.

No. He’d keep it to himself, just for a while. Until things were more certain.

How hard could it be?

***

“Alexander!”

A grin stretched its way across Alec’s face when he spotted Magnus striding out of baggage reclaim. He looked even more goddamn gorgeous than the last time they’d seen each other, despite the tired, rumpled appearance that came hand-in-hand with jet lag.

“Hey,” Alec said, wrapping his arms around Magnus when he got close enough. He exhaled slowly, reacquainting himself with the blissful sensation of Magnus against him, and felt all the restless, writhing parts of him settle for a moment.

“I missed you,” Magnus said, as he pulled back from their embrace. His hands lingered on Alec’s elbows, clearly not quite ready to let go, and Alec tried desperately to ignore how warm it made him feel.

“I missed you too,” Alec admitted, because he had. His apartment had seemed so lonely. They didn’t live together, but they spent so much time together that it had been more than odd to be on his own. “How was London?”

“It was— Oh, no, you don’t need to—”

“I want to,” Alec said, taking the handle of Magnus’ suitcase in his left hand as they began to walk out, through the crowds of people milling about, chatting and greeting each other and scowling at the information boards.

Magnus frowned. “I’m not a weak, feeble damsel in distress, darling.”

“Your abs can attest to that,” Alec said, tossing him the sort of coquettish glance that he wouldn’t have considered giving anyone before he started going out with Magnus. “If I carry your suitcase you only have one bag to hold.”

Magnus arched an eyebrow. “And?”

In response, Alec reached over and slipped his hand into Magnus’. Their fingers slotted together with ease, the press of Magnus’ rings familiar against his skin. Fondness tugged at Magnus’ lips as gaze caught on where their fingers were tangled together.

“I have the best boyfriend,” he said, leaning over to press a kiss to Alec’s cheek.

Alec felt his cheeks flush pink as he tried to fight down a pleased smile.

He opened his mouth to say it, to say _I love you_ , because he did, and he felt it so very keenly, but then he remembered that he couldn’t do that yet. He couldn’t just say it.

“So, how was London?” he asked instead, while his heart did a little lurch in his chest at his near slip.

“I wouldn’t know. I spent my entire time in offices. I cannot express how _bored_ I was.”

And, as Magnus started talking about his trip, having to wave their joined hands together to emphasise his words because the other was occupied, Alec found himself staring over at Magnus’ profile, wondering how the hell he was going to manage to keep his promise to himself.

***

Disaster was not a word Alec tended to associate with Magnus. On the contrary, he frequently found himself both impressed and astounded by how together Magnus was, in every aspect of his life. His career, his social life, his goals, his wardrobe—he had it all under control. He knew what he wanted, and he knew how he would get it.

Today, Magnus wasn’t exhibiting his usual collectedness.

When Alec had texted earlier in the day to ask what kind of takeout Magnus wanted him to bring over for dinner, he’d received a long, oddly rambling text about Magnus’ horrible day at work, and how absolutely everything had been going wrong.

Now, as he watched Magnus’ growing frustration as he tried to rip open a new packet of coffee powder without spilling it everywhere, he felt an overwhelming desire to fix everything wrong about Magnus’ day. He wanted, desperately, to drag him onto the sofa and make him feel better. But he wasn’t sure Magnus would let him.

“Babe,” Alec said, trying to act like he hadn’t been observing Magnus in the kitchen for the last several minutes, “leave it, the food will get cold.”

Magnus dropped the packet onto the countertop in clear irritation, shoulders tight and the muscles in his back tensed in a way that was obvious under his Henley. Without a word, he traipsed back into the living room, where Alec had spread their food out on the coffee table and dug the chopsticks out of the bottom of the bag. He sat down on the sofa beside Alec, but, rather than eat, he leant back against it with his head tilted towards the ceiling and his eyes staring blankly up, fingers digging into his thighs.

Alec glanced over at him. “Not hungry?”

“Why can’t I fucking do anything today?”

“Everyone has bad days, Magnus.”

“I hate being like this,” he muttered, closing his eyes and clenching his jaw. “I hate being such a mess.”

“Hey.” Alec reached over and set his hand on Magnus’ knee. “You don’t have to be perfect all the time, you know. And don’t tell me I should follow my own advice, because I know, I sound like a hypocrite. At least I’m being honest about it.”

Magnus let out a reluctant little laugh. “I know, I just...don’t like being less than perfect. Especially– Especially around you.”

Alec stared at him, brow furrowing. “What? Magnus—”

“Not you specifically, I suppose, but people I’m dating. It makes me feel vulnerable.”

“Magnus, I lo- like you. I care about you. I don’t care that you’ve had a bad day and knocked over your coffee, I just want to make you happy.”

 _Please don’t notice_ , Alec thought, heart tripping at his near slip-up. It certainly wasn’t the time for that. Not now, when Magnus was in a bad mood and felt shitty.

Magnus looked over at him with warm brown eyes, affection clear in them, and Alec swallowed around the sudden lump in his throat. Fuck, he loved this man. Magnus was beautiful in every way that mattered and every way that didn’t, and Alec wanted him like this forever.

“You already do make me happy,” Magnus said softly.

***

“Where’s Magnus?”

Alec rolled his eyes at his sister’s demanding tone immediately as she opened the door. She fixed him with a decidedly unimpressed look, on hand on her hip, and didn’t move to let him in. Which he considered rather inconsiderate, with the freezing wind biting at his skin.

“He’s at home. He worked until ridiculously late last night. He’s probably asleep.”

“Oh. That’s crap,” Isabelle said, and stepped aside to let Alec inside.

“I’m offended that you like my boyfriend more than me,” he said, leaning in to kiss her cheek and give her a hug. “I’m your brother. You’re meant to be on my side when our relationship crashes and burns.”

Isabelle pulled back quickly, frowning at him with genuine concern in her eyes. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Alec shrugged. “Nothing.”

She narrowed her eyes at him, but didn’t push it. “If you need to talk, I’m here. Okay?”

“Thanks.” Alec smiled down at her, and chanced a glance up towards the kitchen, from which the distinct smell of lasagne floated. “Who cooked lunch?”

“Clary.”

“That means we’re not going to die!” a voice hollered from the living room, and a scowl passed over Isabelle’s face.

“Fuck off and kiss your damn boyfriend, Jace!” she shouted back. “Otherwise I will kick you out of my apartment with absolutely no regrets!”

Through the doorway, Simon sat with his legs slung over Jace’s lap, tapping at his phone as he ignored Jace and Isabelle’s bickering. Something about the sight made Alec’s heart twinge with acute awareness of how much he missed Magnus.

“Hey, Alec,” Simon said. “How’s it going?”

“Not bad. I haven’t missed that.” He jerked his head in Isabelle and Jace’s direction.

Simon grinned. “It’s part of their charm. Ask Clary.”

Alec wrinkled his nose. “I’d rather not. You both have terrible taste in partners.”

(He was, of course, joking. He loved Jace and Isabelle to pieces, and Simon and Clary loved them both exactly as they deserved. As suspicious as he’d been of the both of them when they’d first appeared in his siblings’ lives, in count of how very different they were from Jace and Isabelle (and the fact that he - and everyone else - had thought Simon was interested in Isabelle, not Jace) he wouldn’t hesitate to defend them to his last breath.)

“Clary might, but my taste is impeccable,” Simon said, with a self-satisfied smile.

“I heard that, Lewis,” Isabelle said, pointing a finger at him. “Unacceptable.”

“Adorable,” Jace corrected her. “Don’t be rude to my boyfriend.”

The sound of Alec’s phone ringing drew his attention away from his siblings. After seeing Magnus’ name on his screen, he accepted the call, walking out into the hallway for some semblance of privacy.

“Good afternoon, darling,” Magnus said, voice low and hoarse with sleep. Clearly, he’d just woken up. A rather large part of Alec wanted nothing more than to be in bed with him, to kiss the pillow creases printed onto his cheek and run his fingers through his hair and hold him close beneath the duvet.

“Hey. You okay?”

“Tired, but yes. I thought I’d call and see how everyone is.”

“They’re bickering, so they’re fine. If you’re tired, you should go back to sleep. It’s Saturday. You don’t have anything urgent to do, right?”

“No,” Magnus agreed, and yawned, proving Alec’s point. “Maybe you’re right. Will I see you later?”

“I have time. I could come over? Or we could go somewhere?”

“Mmm. I fancy a date night.”

“Okay. I’ll think of something.”

Alec battled with the smile threatening to bloom on his face, because god, he loved going on dates with Magnus. Never before in a relationship had dates seemed so very easy. So seamless. Silences didn’t feel awkward, or uncomfortable. They were an opportunity to soak in how privileged he felt to be with Magnus, to be allowed to see him with his layers stripped back, bare and beautiful.

“I’ll see you later, then,” Magnus said.

“Yeah. Bye, Magnus. I—”

— _love you._

“I’ll see you later,” he said, covering himself quickly, and, before he could say anything else moronic, he hung up hurriedly, hoping Magnus didn’t catch onto his weirdness.

As he turned to head back in to talk to his siblings and their significant others, he found himself face to face with all four of them, all staring at him with identical expressions that sat halfway between mystified and despairing.

“What?” he demanded, feeling abruptly self-conscious at their attention. “Why are you all eavesdropping on my conversation?”

“Why are you being such a wuss?” Jace retorted. “You don’t usually shy away from this shit. You– Mmpff!”

Simon’s hand rested firmly over Jace’s mouth, stopping him from continuing with his somewhat aggressive explanation. “I think what Jace means to say is that we noticed your slip there, even if Magnus didn’t.” He paused, and then turned to look at Jace. “Okay, gross, but not gross enough to make me move my hand. We have sex. I don’t care that you’re licking my hand.”

Jace glared. Simon didn’t budge.

“I appreciate your concern,” Alec told them, although, honestly, he didn’t, and he especially didn’t appreciate Jace’s gross PDA, “but it’s not a big deal. I just don’t think Magnus is ready to hear it yet, so I’m not going to force it on him.”

“Big brother, I can’t tell you what Magnus feels, but I can tell you that if you’re thinking about it so much at you nearly say when you hang up the phone, you should tell him.”

“Otherwise you’ll end up saying it at some really embarrassing moment, like when you’re having sex,” Clary added. “Trust me. Bad. I speak from experience.”

Alec glanced at Isabelle, whose cheeks had turned faintly pink, and then back to Clary.

“Yeah.” Clary bit her lip. “You don’t wanna do that. I have regrets that you really don’t want.”

“Thank you for your advice, but please stop talking about having sex with my sister,” Alec said, lips curling wryly.

“Right. Yes. Sorry.” Clary grinned sheepishly. “But my point stands.”

“Maybe,” was all he said, because, as well-meaning as he knew they all were, they couldn’t know Alec’s relationship with Magnus better than he did.

And, perhaps, if he were being honest with himself, it wasn’t all about Magnus. Perhaps it was also a little bit about him, not being ready to hear Magnus’ reaction. Because he cared about Magnus so fucking much, and he wasn’t quite sure he could take it if they weren’t on the same page.

***

The few hours following dusk, when the world was surrounded by nighttime but not yet veiled in impenetrable blackness - not that it ever really was, in New York - were Alec’s favourite hours of the day. All the frantic movement and restless noise seemed to settle and pause, leaving everything hanging with a sort of softness that couldn’t be felt at any other time of day. Things were so much calmer. There was space to breathe, to look, to listen, to _feel_.

He especially loved spending those hours with Magnus. When they’d first started dating, they’d spent many an evening curled up in bed, talking out of their asses, voices soft and touches gentling into caresses under the careful guidance of the moonlight.

Tonight, Magnus had called to cancel their date night when he was kept back at work. When Alec had asked whether he wanted a night in together, instead, he hadn’t been able to suppress the way his heart leapt and twisted with pleasure at the happiness in Magnus’ response.

So, now, they were sprawled on the sofa, bowls that had been filled with Alec’s homemade spaghetti bolognese empty on the floor. Alec had his socked feet propped up on the coffee table, Netflix playing quietly across Magnus’ flatscreen, and Magnus was asleep with his head in Alec’s lap, toes curled against the cold. Alec wanted to put a blanket around him, but to do that he’d have had to get up, and he didn’t want to disturb his sleeping boyfriend.

Gently, he reached down and stroked his fingers through Magnus’ hair, working out the product with careful teases. He stopped when Magnus shifted a little in his sleep, and instead let his hand rest on Magnus’ side, along the sensitive run of his waist, right above his hip.

Magnus was fucking beautiful, in every way that mattered and in every way that didn’t. And despite how ridiculous it was, having know Magnus for a mere handful of months, the absolute certainty that he wanted moments like that with Magnus forever filled his mind.

A husky, sleep-ridden hum escaped Magnus’ lips, and he pressed his face into Alec’s thigh, fingers flexing and legs stretching out on the sofa before he drew them back in tighter. His face scrunched up, and, fucking hell, how could such a strong, self-confident, powerful man look so goddamn adorable?

“What time is it?” Magnus rasped, bringing a hand up to rub at his eyes. It smeared his eyeliner a little, but Alec couldn’t have cared less.

“Half nine.”

Magnus turned his head to look up at Alec, but didn’t make any move to sit up. “I’m sorry I slept through our date. You should have woken me up.”

Alec smiled at him, a soft, fond thing that he couldn’t control, and said, “You were tired. I didn’t want to wake you up.”

“Even so.” Magnus’ lips twisted into something unhappy. “It’s bad show.”

“I think we’ve passed the point where you need to keep trying to impress me, you know,” Alec said, reaching down to tangle his fingers through Magnus’. “I’m already plenty impressed.”

Magnus rolled his eyes, but his lips quirked. He sat up, rubbing at his neck as he twisted his head from side to side, and glanced over his shoulder to say, “You won’t be impressed for much longer if I keep falling asleep on you.”

“I know you meant that metaphorically, but, for the record, you sleeping on me was quite nice.” He smirked. “All of this is entirely selfish.”

Magnus let out a startled laugh, eyes bright and grin lopsided, and he turned to swing a leg over Alec’s hips and settle himself in his lap again. His arms wound around Alec’s neck, fingers rubbing absently at the short hair there, and Alec set his hands on Magnus’ back, feeling the muscles shift as he repositioned himself.

“You’re one of a kind, Alexander Lightwood,” Magnus murmured, and leant in to brush a kiss against his lips, soft and brief and tantalising enough to have Alec immediately leaning in for more.

Magnus acquiesced for a moment, letting Alec indulge himself in the pleasurable warmth of Magnus’ kisses. Much as he loved fast, desperate sex saturated with lust, Alec preferred this. Soft, slow affection that penetrated his every layer and made him shudder with how intimate such a simple act could be. He felt like Magnus stripped him of his every wall and barrier and defence when they kissed like that.

Warm fingers on his jaw as Magnus pulled back made Alec open his eyes rather than lean back in for more. Dazed and breathless, it took him a moment to realise that Magnus was watching him with an odd, hesitant expression that looked bizarrely out of place on a man usually so self-assured.

“You okay?” Alec asked, sitting up a little straighter and frowning as he lifted a hand to brush his thumb against the corner of Magnus’ mouth.

“I’m fine,” Magnus said. “Just...you mean a lot to me, Alexander. I hope you know that.”

A smile stole its way across Alec’s face. “I love you,” he said, unthinkingly, and froze for a split second, before forcing himself to relax. Even if Magnus wasn’t ready to say it back, Alec knew he could handle hearing it. And Alec had been ready to say it for weeks—he just hadn’t been able to find the courage.

Magnus’ eyes had widened, and he leant back a little, one hand still resting lightly against Alec’s jaw and the other moving to brace on his chest. “You do?”

Alec let out a half-laugh of astonishment that Magnus had to ask. Hadn’t he made it obvious? “Yeah, Magnus. I do.”

“Well.” Magnus smiled with something that looked suspiciously like relief. “That’s good. Because I love you, too. Rather a lot, actually.”

It was Alec’s turn to be surprised, and he felt his bewilderment turn into a sheepish happiness that quickly became shameless. Magnus was staring down at him with those gorgeous brown eyes, looking like beauty incarnate, and fuck, Alec loved him with every fibre of his being.

And if that broke the rules of convention, if he wasn’t supposed to be able to feel so much so quickly, he’d ceased to give a fuck the moment Magnus had said the words back to him. They were on the same page. They both felt it. And Alec would be damned if he didn’t do everything in his power to fight for it, for as long as there was something to fight for.

Alec pulled Magnus in for a kiss, messy and clumsy and impossible, because both of them were smiling, but he didn’t care. Magnus didn’t care.

“I’ve been waiting to say that for an embarrassing amount of time,” Alec admitted as they broke apart, forehead pressed together and smiles bright on their faces.

“Me too,” Magnus said, “so I’m not going to judge you.”

Alec laughed breathlessly, and then, because he was weak: “Will you say it again?”

“I love you, Alexander.”

“Again?”

Magnus chuckled, pressing a swift kiss to his lips, and murmured, “I love you.”

Alec smiled beneath Magnus’ next kiss. “I love you too, Magnus.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed this fluff piece! If you want to yell at me, I’m on [Tumblr](http://notcrypticbutcoy.tumblr.com) and [Twitter](https://twitter.com/lucysrebelheart?lang=en) or drop me a comment below <3


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